and discovery that milk flows even when you're not breastfeeding... (or an anecdote about my humiliating exit with an embarrassed smile at the pharmacy, day 5 post-delivery)
Flashback
Rewind 17 years back.
Day 5 postpartum.
I found my legs again, a semblance of balance.
The September sun is shining, a mild day for the Quebec fall!
I entertain the idea of going out, but my hair is dirty, I'm wearing an old top wrinkled, loose pants.
No problem, I'm going to the pharmacy to find some semblance of freedom!
7 minutes walk to freedom.
At the time, the pharmacy was about a seven-minute walk from the house, so it wasn't too ambitious a walk, but I was absolutely thrilled.
I fill my lungs with fresh air, I smile at people I pass in the street (something I persist in doing today, despite the frequent lack of reception and feedback!).
But also, this day is particularly special for me.
Yes, this is my first outing without the little beast that attached itself to my breast 5 days earlier and has been filling my sound universe without respite, day and night since!
So, you see, a walk to the pharmacy is a real escape, a moment of joyful urban “silence”, a moment of incomparable bodily freedom.
At the pharmacy…
Arriving at the pharmacy, I look right, left, I wander around the store a bit, touching everything, without any specific goal, before going to the counter to pay.
I had to buy some pills, I forget that detail.
The cashier (barely out of her teens) isn't particularly friendly, but nothing can diminish my satisfaction at being free—not even her silly look.
I give her a big, excited-mom smile, not expecting anything in return.
But in return, I get a funny look.
And then I think to myself that maybe I also forgot to brush my teeth a while ago.
I quickly close my mouth and pay, with a tight, slightly embarrassed smile.
The revelation!
It's when I leave the pharmacy that I feel the September breeze on my chest... And it makes my breasts a little cold... And I realize that I have two huge milk rings around my nipples. On a pale-colored top , it's... extremely visible. And then, the gears start, the light bulb comes on and I understand the funny look on the young girl's face! Embarrassed and a little incredulous, I realize that milk doesn't only flow when Baby drinks it... I also realize that I must have had the famous surge of milk that comes after giving birth (great timing, milk!). Finally, I realize that I'm seriously going to have to wear a bra (the release of my breasts will have been a short-lived feminist statement) and above all, above all, equip myself with nursing pillows! The shame!
Looking back…
Thinking back, I laugh a lot when I imagine myself mortified, at 20 years old, in front of an ignorant young cashier at the pharmacy... Today, I know that many women must have lived this experience, had this revelation in their own way! But hey, at the time, with the emotion, the fatigue, the hormonal changes and the adoption of all these new revelations within (haha) my body, it was rather striking!
And you, what is your most embarrassing breastfeeding story?
