How can you make the morning routine easier for toddlers after the summer holidays?
Getting back into the routine after summer starts before the first day back, with a gradual shift in sleep times, predictable rituals and tools suited to your child's age. The first few days are always the hardest, but good habits settle in quickly once the child has stable reference points.
The end of summer is wonderful. Going back to school and childcare, a little less so. Toddlers who refuse to get up, tears at drop off with the childminder, breakfast wolfed down in a rush... the first weeks of September can be exhausting, for children and parents alike. Here are seven practical tips to get through it.
1. Shift the schedule a few days before the first day back
This is the tip most parents wish they had followed. After two months of freedom, suddenly shifting bedtime and wake up time on the first Monday of September is a guaranteed recipe for a rough week.
Start moving bedtime earlier in fifteen minute increments, five to seven days before the first day back. The WHO recommends 11 to 14 hours of sleep per day for children aged 1 to 3, naps included, with regular bedtimes and wake up times. For 3 to 5 year olds and school age children, the international consensus from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine is clear: 10 to 13 hours for 3 to 5 year olds, and 9 to 12 hours for 6 to 12 year olds. A well rested child is far more cooperative in the morning. Fall short of this, and you can expect explosive mornings.
2. Get tomorrow ready... tonight
If you're packing the bag, picking out clothes and preparing the snack the morning of, you're already behind. Taking fifteen minutes the evening before to get everything ready completely changes the mood of the morning.
Get your child involved if their age allows it (from around 2 to 3 years old, it's entirely possible). Letting them choose their clothes the night before gives them a sense of control over their day. A child who took part in the decision is far less likely to refuse the trousers they picked out themselves.
3. Build in a twenty minute buffer
Children don't run on a schedule. A two year old who decides their shoes belong on their hands isn't sabotaging your morning, they're exploring. The solution isn't to get frustrated, it's to plan ahead.
Get up twenty minutes earlier than strictly necessary. This time cushion turns everyday surprises, like an overflowing potty or toast dropped on the floor, into funny stories instead of meltdowns.
4. Introduce a gentle wake up
A sudden wake up is a sensory shock, especially for infants and toddlers. Bright light, sudden noise and being told to get up all at once set off a bad mood that can last all morning.
Consider a sunrise simulation lamp if your budget allows. If not, come into the room slowly, switch on a night light, and speak softly. Take a moment to cuddle your child before getting them out of bed. Those two or three gentle minutes will save you ten minutes of tears.
5. Create a visual routine chart
Children between 18 months and 5 years old don't yet grasp the abstract idea of time. Telling them "we're leaving in five minutes" doesn't mean anything concrete to them.
A visual routine chart is a series of pictures posted in the bedroom or bathroom that show the steps of the morning in order: get up, go to the toilet, wash hands and face, get dressed, eat breakfast, put on shoes, leave. Your child can check off each step themselves. It gives them a sense of control and cuts down on negotiating. And less negotiating in the morning means less stress for everyone.
6. Ease separation anxiety with a comforting object
Drop off at nursery or with the childminder is often the hardest part of the morning. Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development in toddlers. Children between 8 and 18 months old are often afraid of new faces or new places, and these fears fade over time. Still, going through it every single morning is exhausting.
Specialists recommend making sure a child has eaten and slept well before being dropped off, since separation anxiety tends to be more intense when they're hungry or tired. This ties directly back to tips 1 and 4: a well rested, well fed child is better equipped to handle separation.
Two sensory cues have a particularly strong calming effect on toddlers at the moment of departure: touch and smell. Combining the two gives your baby two familiar anchors to take with them.
A transitional object, such as a familiar comfort toy or stuffed animal, offers a reassuring link between home and childcare. To reinforce this calming effect even further, some parents work the Béké-Bobo therapeutic bear into the morning ritual. Simply take the grain pouch out of the cover, warm it in the microwave for 30 seconds, then put it back in the cover before handing the bear to your child. The bear then gives off gentle warmth and a light, natural moisture, thanks to a patented grain blend that sets it apart from ordinary heat packs. Classified as a medical device by Health Canada and the European Union, Béké-Bobo helps calm an upset or tense child within minutes.
Shop Béké-Bobo Therapeutic Teddy Bears
Smell, meanwhile, is one of a child's most powerful senses. From the very first days of life, babies recognise their mother's scent, and this olfactory cue continues to play a well documented, calming role. One simple and often overlooked solution: slip a square of fabric worn overnight, or a light item of clothing carrying your scent, into the nursery bag. Babies don't have the words to say what they feel at the moment of separation. But they recognise that invisible presence, and it soothes them. It's exactly around this principle that Béké-Bobo is working on a new way to bring olfactory comfort into its therapeutic world.
Discover the Béké-Bobo comfort doudou (coming soon)
Your toddler heads off to nursery with a piece of home in their arms. And sometimes, that's exactly what they need to let go.
7. Take care of yourself too
This is the tip that gets forgotten most often. A stressed, rushed, under slept parent passes that emotional state straight on to their child. Toddlers are true sensory sponges, they pick up on your tension before you've even opened your mouth.
Getting up before your child, even just ten minutes earlier, to have a quiet coffee or take a few deep breaths changes the whole dynamic of the morning. You're no longer in survival mode, you're present. It's not a luxury, it's an effective parenting strategy.
Mornings won't be perfect, but they can be calmer
Going back to school and childcare is a transition period for the whole family. Children need time to settle back into structure, and parents need systems to keep up the pace.
These seven tips don't promise flawless mornings. They promise mornings with fewer hiccups, where everyone has the resources to handle the inevitable hold ups with a bit more calm. And that's well worth a few days of adjustment.
Frequently asked questions about toddlers' morning routines
At what age can you start a structured morning routine?
From around 12 to 18 months, toddlers benefit from a predictable routine. They don't yet understand abstract time, but they do recognise sequences. Repeating the same steps in the same order is enough to create a reassuring, secure framework.
My child cries every morning at nursery. Is that normal?
Separation anxiety is normal when it starts around 8 to 9 months and usually eases by age 2. It's rare for excessive separation fear to stop a child from attending nursery or playing normally with other children. If the crying continues for several weeks without easing, speak to your paediatrician.
How can you shorten the morning routine without rushing your child?
Preparing the night before is key. Fewer decisions to make in the morning means less time lost. A visual chart of the steps also helps keep things on track without repeating instructions over and over, which cuts down on parental fatigue and tension.
Sources:
WHO, sleep recommendations for children under 5: https://www.who.int/news/item/24-04-2019-to-grow-up-healthy-children-need-to-sit-less-and-play-more
American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM, published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine):
https://aasm.org/advocacy/position-statements/child-sleep-duration-health-advisory/
MSD Manual (consumer version), separation anxiety and infant development: https://www.msdmanuals.com/home/children-s-health-issues/symptoms-in-infants-and-children/separation-anxiety-and-stranger-anxiety
MSD Manual (professional version), recommendations on separation at nursery: https://www.msdmanuals.com/professional/pediatrics/symptoms-in-infants-and-children/separation-anxiety-and-stranger-anxiety
